Orchids are not the only flowers…

Okay listen up.. I’m old, I have a fragile ego and I worry about things needlessly. Only one of these I believe to be true. However, sometimes I can’t help feeling all three at once for the most bizarre reasons.  Recently I have been getting a little jumpy with regard to a certain part of my anatomy, I shall tell you why.

A male friend of mine with whom I do on occasion share in very flirty banter happened to comment that he bet I had a very neat pussy. Apparently he likes a neat pussy, when I questioned what he meant he said “Some of them look like a train wreck!” bearing in mind please that he has NO IDEA what my pussy looks like I can’t help thinking he was on dodgy ground and just expressing an opinion, his opinion without even thinking about the implications of what my pussy might actually look like…

Later that week I happened to be surfing Tumblr as is my won’t and I came across a post reblogged from a site call “perfectpussies.” Out of some weird masochistic desire to horrify myself even further I had to go and have a look. Page after page of tiny mounded, light-skinned, pink and tidy, thin-lipped pussies with no pubic hair what so ever…

Now I’m feeling old and a little fragile and worried – oh boy worried.

And so, like so many women before me I fetch a mirror and have a squat. I’ve done it before but to be honest the last time was just after I’d given birth, I had stitches was bruised as fuck and really very swollen. The midwife warned me not to do it and to be honest I wish I had listened to her, it made me cry….

So I’m in the bathroom with the door firmly shut squatting over a mirror and what I see doesn’t look too bad to me but it’s not small and pale with tiny lips, au contraire,  I’m olive-skinned over most of me and much darker ‘down there’ with rather large lips. (No I’m not going to post a picture, don’t even think it 😉 )

Paranoia creeps in, I ask my partner “Does my pussy look like a train wreck?” He gasped, seriously he did! “No!”  He says “I love your pussy, so good to eat…” he drifts off and then starts detailing how he enjoys nibbling and sucking me, tracing his fingers lightly or being a little rougher depending on my reactions, honestly I could have listened for hours getting hornier all the time, in this respect he’s right, there is plenty to play with and oh fuck does it ever feel good!

So I feel a little less paranoid but it occurs to me after all this time that showing my vagina to a new man is actually a very scary prospect! It wouldn’t stop me for a second, don’t get me wrong but one man’s lovely pussy is another mans train wreck, surely…

So now I don’t feel so old, mainly because frankly I’m not… in my head at least. I don’t feel as fragile but I do feel a little worried still. I go back to tumblr to do some “research” and this is the conclusion I have come to…

Yes, some pussies look like a ‘train wreck’ but it doesn’t seem to matter to the amount of reblogs they get.  My lips are by no means of the largest variety so I should quit worrying.  Loads of women have darker skin around their vaginas and at the top of their thighs, it’s natural so don’t worry about it and best of all, the pictures and gifs where the men appear to be having the MOST fun are the ones with the larger slitted ladies with a rounder mound of venus… At this point I stopped worrying because you know, there are men and women who prefer neat pussies and there are men and women who prefer to get a really good mouthful and I should know better then worry…

Different strokes for different folks…. but please, don’t stop at stroking xx

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To start at the begining of my journey on this blog, click here.


Posted on May 13, 2011, in Blog and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. This made me smile, not sure if that is what you intended but there you go!

    I love pussy 😉


    • eroticmoonbeam

      Exactly what I intended, I’m always happy to make others smile by ridiculing myself, you could say it’s a speciality of mine. I hope you smile all today my friend xx

      • Completely off topic but I really liked the flag counter you have on your blog and have tried to do the same on my blog but i failed!! Care to talk me through how,where to get it done? 🙂


        • eroticmoonbeam

          Sure! My pleasure.
          Go to http://flagcounter.com/index.html and choose your flag counter settings about half way down the page, hit get my counter, enter your email or skip (they really don’t spam) and copy all the text in the given box. Open a new window and go to your blog dashboard. Select appearance then widgets, drag a Text box into the grey widget box and paste the text in the main area (not the title) Once saved check your home page, the flag counter should be there.

          All the best xx EM.

  2. Sometimes I kinda get the impression that some men don’t find women’s pussies, or maybe just women, all that appealing, and just see them as a hole to stick their bits in, so want the pussy to look as invisible as possible; no hair, tiny lips, kinda like a Barbie doll’s rudey bits really. I had never noticed the lack of mound thing, but am now seeing it everywhere!

    I sometimes like to shave all my pubic hair off, but occasionally I’ll catch a glimse of myself in a mirror and for a millisecond think “where the hell are my genitals???”

  3. Your post reminded me of this……they come in al shapes and sizes but in my opinion are all individually beautiful in their own way.



    • eroticmoonbeam

      Ha! yes, all women are beautiful in their own way, sometime we need to kick the media and it’s desire to shove us all in labeled boxes to space. What a brilliant exhibition.

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