Dear Boys of the Interweb
Dear Boys of the Interweb
What the fuck makes you think we ladies want to see your dicks?
*breathes calmly and continues*
Obviously I am only speak for myself concerning the matter but that has never stopped me randomly ranting before.
Pictures of your private member in your Twitter avi are not pleasant, self portraits in my Submit box are not devoured with relish, rather scorned at and deleted (especially if you are a spotty teenager – I’m no cougar! but brownie points there for audacity 😉 )
Don’t get me wrong chaps, I like penis, yes I do! Love it even… I’m most certainly a cock girl, maleness is my thing but like so many other women my HEAD gets turned on before my BODY, mostly in the form of allure and mystery, a hint of a great thing being restrained in your trousers. The mere suggestion of your fuck me eyes is more likely to get what you are after then flashing your equipment. Your confidence in your ability (confidence not arrogance!) your body language, your desire are most likely to get you noticed. If you can effectively weave words of desire and longing (and you can deal with my tendency towards sarcasm) with a hint of bad boy and a big dose of humour: THAT is the path of attraction! Even in 140 charectors, we can tell the diamonds not matter how rough.
I can tune out (thanks to my app) any pictures you may wish to post in your timeline so fair enough but please, Not Avatars of your pride and joy or prong pictures in my DM box.
I totally understand that a lot of you appreciate the finer attributes of the female body being displayed for your perusal and would probably not object to all womens Avi’s being being boobs or pussy pictures. When John Grey said ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ he was so very right and that is what makes life so very interesting a lot of the time, feel free to look and enjoy, it doesn’t work like that for me, I’m a Venusian.
Now look, I know you are not all in the dark about this, I had a chat with a fella this morning on the very same subject, though I completely understand why he (a straight man) blocked someone for a dick picture, so spread the word and help the other chaps out, enlighten them, (or perhaps enlighten me as to why I’m wrong.)
The sexiest avi’s I have seen in recent months involved a man crawling across a bed towards the camera, a wonderful smart suit and tie shot, a naked chest and a might fine set of abs. I know you could be misled by the beautifully lit and photographed pictures of male incredibleness that inevitably adores most female’s tumblrs, mine included. By all means, hire a top class clicker and get your naked body out in the mainstream as black and white photographic art, I’m all for that! Love it. But honestly, you can’t replicate that with your blackberry…
Many kind regards, looking forward to sexy teasing Avi’s in my time line
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