Vanilla? Moi?

This week someone told me I have a vanilla sex life.

I was too speechless to answer while the opportunity presented itself but the thought has of course been churning in my tiny little brain for several days and so yeah, I’m dumping the mahem in my brain onto the blog again..

The comment I believe was based on the fact that I’m not in a/interested in a D/s relationship for myself. I do love to read the D/s blogs and find them facinating but it’s not for me. It seems to be apparent that this particular person feels that D/s is ‘kinky’ and everyone else in the world is ‘vanilla’ and I can’t help thinking this doesn’t seem fair, can I really be put into that category?

I’ve always imagined a ‘vanilla sex life’ to be rather boring, so in the interests of getting my facts straight I turned to Urban dictionary, which may not be a particularly trustworthy source but it is the Word, right?

and I found this:

A description of what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual practice. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve elements such as, BDSM, kink, or fetish activities. Usually defined as boring, plain sex. But, a vanilla lover would regard it as making-love, passionate sex.
Among heterosexual couples in the Western world, vanilla sex often refers to the missionary position.

I also found this:

boring. un-inventive. plain. sex

Boring? Moi? Now rage filled and vengeful! – not really I’m far too placid 😉

So, I’ve been contemplating the type of sex I do like.

I do like happy, enjoyable sex, I don’t enjoy pain although I love a good nipple tweak and to be fucked so hard it hurts…

I love oral, performed on me and giving a blow job, though my man is rather large (she adds boastfully) and a hellofa mouthful 😉 69’s a huge favourite here.

Missionary is good (don’t get me wrong) but it’s better when my legs are over his shoulders, doggy is fabulous but tbh I like any position and vary them often.

We enjoy blindfolds and light bondage. I love to experiment with sensory deprivation, especially the way it heightens the other senses.

I have a total ice fetish, temperature play is divine – love love love it!

I get a real kick out of anal, so does he and anal with vaginal sex toys – fuck that’s awesome!

I like to be spanked, though hes not so keen on delivering :-s

We play with toys, regularly. Watch porn, read erotica….

There is an element of dress up should the occasion present itself, time is the real killer of that one. I do have several smashing corsets and my undies collection is always expanding (ha! or decreasing!)

A lot of our sex life happens outside the bedroom, the hot tub is always good for a giggle, outdoor sex is divine, the risk of being discovered always has me in peals of giggles.

We do have a fair amount of sex and I probably wank more then he would like 😉

There are still so many things I’d like to try *sigh* circumstances currently are not in my favour.

So perhaps I’m not particularly kinky, perhaps a little raspberry ripple, with chocolate chips chucked in for good measure… but vanilla?

So I ask you in the form of clarification (and not because I think there is anything wrong with me or my sex life, I’m not looking for reassurance I’m extreemly sexually confident, scary some would say…)

Am I really vanilla? 

To start at the begining of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post


Posted on June 8, 2011, in Blog and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. If vanilla is what you are; it sounds perfect, exciting and fulfilling! Mr EM is a lucky man 🙂

    I don’t even want to begin to describe what I have by comparison its not even ice cream yet 😦

  2. I always get annoyed at the idea of competition over what we enjoy. What matters isn’t what someone likes to do but how much fun they have doing it. And kinky people often have the disadvantage that they can’t get off unless all sorts of peculiar criteria are met. It can be comparable to obsessive compulsive disorder in the way that it limits a person’s ability to enjoy sex. (This is different from being polymorphously perverse – i.e. able to enjoy anything no matter how kinky – which would be handy.)

    I find the same kind of attitude among movie fans. Some don’t consider you cool unless your favourite film is some obscure Italian cannibal exploitation film or surreal Japanese sadistic sex film or a four hour film from the New York Underground in which nothing happens. And if you mention you enjoyed It’s a Wonderful Life they look at you like your a retard.

    But, just keep in mind, if people are competing about something like sex then what they are doing isn’t really satisfying them, because if it was they wouldn’t even be thinking about what someone else is or isn’t doing. We think about what others are doing because we always have that sneaking suspicion that someone else is having a better time than us. :o)

  3. Silly people and their need to be the one and onlys having kinky sex. Labels darling, labels. Who cares if you are into or not into bdsm? Honestly. It sounds like you are into more variety than most of those who think they are only two labels of people in the world.

    I refuse to be simply vanilla. The base might be plain, but everyone enjoys missionary from time to time. Even those into bdsm. Add some nuts, chocolate, coconut, fruits and that vanilla turns into some exotic fun. But you cannot do that to someone/something that is into labels.

    Enjoy your ice cream and eat it too!!!! No matter the flavour!

  4. Ha! Vanilla I don’t think so. Enjoy your fun.

  5. You have a french vanila deluxe with organic vanilla bean bits and sprinkles of kink on top with drizzles of chocolate fetish sex life… I want ice cream now… 😛

  6. Ha! I have the opposite problem. I told someone I have only one weird interest and they produced quite a list. I don’t think I’m that kinky??

  7. This is a great post! I love using Sex Toys too… I think they spice things up a lot! I wouldn’t definitely say vanilla you are not!

  8. nakedinhighheels

    No way are you vanilla, definitely raspberry ripple (I loved that bit). To me it sounds like you have a very healthy sex life.

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