The Power of Sex…

I’ve been asked;

Is it the thought of sex or sex itself that is more powerful for you?

It’s an intriguing question, one which I have spent a fair amount of time considering.

The thoughts of sex? 

I do think about sex a lot, sex and entanglement, of emotion, of desire.  The flirtatious firsts, kissing, touching, words spoken, body language, the unwritten signs, sexual chemistry.  The inner workings, thought patterns, lack of thought patterns. Deeper still; the movement, texture, smell, sound. At some point during everything I write I pause and think, what is she thinking, did he like that, is this working…

What turns me on, what turns me off…

Scenarios of sex play through my mind, stories need to brew until they over boiling from my head. I actually find it hard to write to a prompt or on a specific day, for personal reasons writing erotica on a Friday or at the weekend is much harder for me.  Which is why I try extra hard to join in with the prompted time related writing – it’s the masochistic streak in me.

Words fill my mind, I find a lot of writers don’t read, to a degree I’m guilty of that too, I have my favourite blogs that I try (and usually fail) to keep up with, they are not all erotic blogs, often human interest – people intrigue me, will she, won’t she, has he? These thoughts are ultimately about sex (or money.)

I have a deep passion for carefully constructed seductive words. If I find an erotic writer who articulately expresses their writing in a way that makes my mind reel and body react I will read everything they write. Words go through my head and my body follows. The way to my passion is through words.  I appreciate their danger like so few others.

Thoughts of sex are extremely powerful. In my head sex is exciting and positive, enthralling and beguiling. Nothing ever turns me off because I won’t let it happen, it’s all rose tinted and perfect even when it’s messy and squelchy, dirty and nasty – it all flows perfectly.

Sex itself?

Is fabulous, it contains everything my kookie mind dreams up because I do like putting my thoughts into actions, my other half is open to suggestions but to be honest he is just as good at coming up with ideas and feeling how he goes as I am.

Putting him aside for a moment and considering the question from the angle my friend wanted to know about.

Sex actually can be hard to get right, so many things can let you down.  New partners although exciting a prospect do not flow like holywood movie stars, not everything will click, whilst this can be fun to fathom out it can also be difficult if you don’t know how to communicate your need, how do you say ‘actually that isn’t working’ in the full throng of fellatio ;-0

Someone says the wrong thing, misinterprets your mood, bodily functions interrupt the atmosphere. There might be too much light, not enough light, the music isn’t getting you off, you drank too much, you didn’t drink enough!

Hmmmmm…..

As I have said before, I’m a Venusian and things on Venus are much more refined then on Mars, or Earth for that matter, can a woman who dreams of perfect ever expect that to happen in real life with all it’s uncomfortable limb entangled, misunderstanding, farting, coughing, finding a stray pubic hair in your mouth mess that is REALITY??

Well, it has happened so why should it not happen again *smirks*

Now whilst you might think this answers his question and the thought is more alluring then the act I’d like to add that  my friend also asked me:

Is the thought of having an affair…. the daydreams… fantasies….. better than the real thing…. in the long run.

and to be honest with you my dear I have no idea… Is having an affair a good idea at all?  Would it not be better off being in the open? A consensual arrangement between partners of an acknowledged physical need for variety? In my dreams…

Some would say no. Because of the emotional attachment that seems to get involved, the longing, the desire, the haunting feeling that comes of not being able to have the one person you want. The futility of knowing what you have however good it was before may never be right again, not to mention living with the guilt, the betrayal.

Some would say yes. The thrill of the chase, the adrenaline, the discovery of a new person, the potential of fulfillment….

Sexual utopia for me would perhaps be a place where experimentation with other people is permissive IF the parties concerned were able to separate their feelings from the act, in my experience this is a rare occurrence.

I can’t help thinking that the more I think about sex and having sex, the thought of lovers and being the object of someones desire , of being wanted, held and loved for the sake of the moment the more questions I find I have…

To my friend who asked the question I’d say that any conclusions I may ever reach on the subject – and finding a conclusion is not looking good – would only ever apply to me in that moment. I can’t answer this for you.

~ * ~

To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here

then follow the arrows to the next post

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Posted on July 9, 2011, in Blog and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I love the way you have found the words to express this, the need to ‘feel’ the words as you read them, or for that matter when you write them – in the hope that others will react to them as you would. That is what has always fuelled my own personal writing as well as what has driven my business partner and myself to start up Unseen Words.

    Both avid readers of the erotic genre and many others, we just kept finding so much that to us read like a DIY manual or ‘fluff’. What we wanted to see more of was I guess for want of better wording for now ‘kink that made you think’ as well as something that made you really feel what the characters we write about are feeling (or at least what we as writers have thought they’d have been feeling).

    They always say write about something you love or are passionate about, well I’m extremely passionate full stop, so erotica just fits and long may it continue to! 🙂

    Liz x

  2. I have some views on this subject and some of the questions you ask i have answers but beyond those answers is where the tricky bit lays and that is where I am with it.

    i can’t mind if i have an about page on ny blog but i could pretty much crib most of the above and use it as one.

    good post em

    fk

  3. This post is exactly why I chose you for one of my kisses of the week. It is so well written. Your thorugh processes are clearly laid out, maybe no answer but it doesn’t matter, I don’t think it was really about answers more about the thoughts the questions made you have.

    I agree so much about words. It was words that first attracted my to Him, and trust me, he really does have a way with words that left me breathless, intruiged, longing for more and probably most importantly laughing too. Humour in words can be just as sexy as raw lust in my opinion.

    There is nothing wrong or unusual about wanting to be wanted, every human being desires that in some form or other and knowing that it is something you want to explore is a good thing. Setting your boundries and understanding how you can go about it, is the key. I have to say, I do believe consensual exploration is the route to go but I know for many couples, or one half of a couple, that is just a big no-no but on the other hand, sometimes people surprise you…..maybe it is worth another go at the conversation.

    Mollyxxx

    • Eroticmoonbeam

      Words… so dangerous yet so necessary. Thanks for your comment, insightful as always xx

      and the conversation never ended… It pops up in the flow of things every so often, we do talk incessantly about sex and desires, I live in hope.

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