On My Best Behaviour……
I spend such a lot of time being smutty, thinking naughty thoughts, writing (eloquently I hope) about sex that it’s getting to a point where I’m finding interacting with people in a ‘normal’ clean decent fashion is becoming an issue.
Case in point – yesterday. Walking past Ann Summers in the city I noticed they have their sale on. I stated my interest, my sister (we are on the same page about most things) nodded with interest, her friend exclaimed “My God you are actually considering that!” I looked at her in surprise “Of course I am, I do love a bargain! I’ve got Ann Summers undies on today!” Her face was a picture. My sister did point out her friend was “Religious” and not always comfortable with subjects I find natural to talk about.
During the rest of the day I tried really hard to be on my best behaviour, it was the least I could do for my sister, I talked about my holiday, my kids, I would have attempted to join in the conversation about trash TV except I never watch it and so (as usual) have no idea who some B’list presenter was & I really couldn’t give a monkeys arse who got the sack on some convoluted excuse for entertainment…
I even held back when my tweet regarding having a Costa in Bath wouldn’t go through due to the shit signal in the dear old city and she commented under her breath that I should “Get a life” (Isn’t it funny how these people who claim to have a life always know who every celebrity is what they are doing with their career and life and watch what must amount to hours and hours of telly – living their ‘life’ vicariously? I prefer my social network of twitter pals #justsaying)
Don’t think I didn’t get my own back…. I bit my tongue very successfully but I wasn’t going to miss out on the Ann Summers sale! I had a grin like a slice of watermelon when the lady in question ventured to the back of the shop to try on undies and I proceeded to have a loud conversation with my sister about the merits of the different vibrators *sniggers* I even regaled them with the mint lube story.
Thinking forward, I have a fair few social engagements coming up where I’m going to have to be ‘super vanilla’ a wedding and a girls night and I do wonder why my social life when it occurs is so boringly main stream…
I honestly don’t think it’s me that’s the issue here, I’m just super cool and love talking smut 😉
Everyone else is uptight *sniggers*
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Posted on July 16, 2011, in Blog and tagged Ann Summers, chat, coffee, conversation, Costa, EM, get a life, Humour, life, lingerie, naughty thoughts, Random ranting, smut, undies, vibrator. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.