Pulling the Plug – Updated

I almost pulled the plug last night. Bought the shutters down on this little corner of the internet and walked away. Almost. It’s an option I’m still considering.

I have not hidden the fact that I’m married and I have children. Against popular myth married women and mothers do have sex too and many of them are open with this fact and happily discuss sex with their girlfriends. I have a girlfriend with whom I do talk about sex, not in any great detail but generally, because I considered her a close friend I told her about my difficulties in writing the sex scenes for my book (which is close to completion) and how the heroine kicked my arse (in my head) for glossing over what happened even though I saw it in detail, apparently that needed to be written as much as any other part.

This friend also knows that I wrote some short stories for a site called WordEjaculation and yes, they were erotica and this is where the problem lies. When tiddly, she keeps telling anyone who will listen to her that I write about sex. She actually called it Porn the first time – I was mortified.  When I submitted to WE I did so on the understanding that my work was gifted and like any gift I can’t have it back… I long to have it back, I feel it’s loss but mainly to stop this friend being able to have the bloody link to the pages!! I’d seriously struggle giving work away again…

Now, I don’t have a problem with writing Erotica obviously, I think I make a fair stab at it, it seems to be reasonably well received, I enjoy writing it more then any other genre and if it were just me I wouldn’t give a toss what people think (although it has to be said that mostly people are small minded and can be ruthlessly nasty concerning an openness to sex or anything vaguely kinky) No, my concern is for my Children.  They are the ones that will get bullied because their mother writes ‘Porn’ they are the ones who’s friends parents will whisper behind their back and will get teased mercilessly – not me.

So I need to talk to my friend and ask her categorically not to keep telling people, that I will tell who I choose as it’s my business and not hers and quite frankly she needs to back off.

And if she can’t or won’t? I’m pulling the plug on Moonbeam because I WILL NOT be the cause of hurt to my children.

~ *  ~

*and breathe*

4 hours later a couple of phone calls and a large dose of perspective mixed in with several large coffees and I think we have a resolution.

My friend had no idea the impact she might have had on my life by sharing the information that I’d written ‘porn’ with all and sundry, she hadn’t considered the larger implications of sending out a link. Thankfully she can now.

Ruby at WordEjaculation has been a total star too with lots of helpful hints from an experienced Erotica writer, I’m really looking forward to EROTICON 2012 I think it’s going to be invaluable to me.

July is being a roller coaster of experience for me, makes me wonder what I’m being prepared for if you know what I mean!

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Posted on July 17, 2011, in Blog. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. That’s so sad! I struggle about giving out too much information but my child is now a man and I’m not sure he would be too fazed about what I write. I would not have been so comfortable about it when he was younger. Even now I have a responsible position at work and know that my writing genre would not good down well, even where I work. It’s a fine line and hypocritical given that most people read it. I hope you manage to shut your mouthpiece up! It would be a great loss to the world of erotica if you were to stop! Do you want me to come and sort that ‘friend’ of yours out if you can’t shut her up? Yours in anonymity Dx

    • Eroticmoonbeam

      *smiles* at the great loss bit – thank you. My children are both under 5, we have a long way to go… I really need her to grasp the impact of what she’s doing somehow, she is a Mum too, it’s how we met, I hope she gets it although the damage may well be done already, people do love to gossip!

  2. I for one, have only just found this corner of the Internet. Having read your WE stories. You are very talented and leaving all this behind would be a sad moment not only for me but plenty of others.

    You rock! Tell your friend to stop blabbing. This is your life

  3. It would be sad to pull the plug on this site but for the reason you state its completely understandable. If this “friend” can’t see the potential damage she is doing then pull the plug on her! *kinda joking but kinda not* 😉

    fk

  4. This is an interesting topic and one that I have pondered at great length myself. I too have children and there welfare in my priority, yet I write a fairly out there sex blog. Could it end up being a problem for them? The short answer is yes but I have decided that of and when that happens I will do my best to explain it to them and help them learn from it as best I can. If I didn’t blog then I woulnd’t be me, so the only solution is help to understand ‘me’ and the world around them as best I can.

    Mollyxxx

    • Eroticmoonbeam

      It’s a really complicated subject isn’t it, without my little space to write and smut to I would not be me and teaching my children to handle bullying is important to us anyway as their father was bullied at school… and yet I – as usual – would prefer to cushion them if I can, it’s a Mothers instinct in me as I’m sure it is in you… I’m sure we could debate it for hours given the chance, perhaps we should 😉 Coffee and cake with that? (soon!)

  5. Erg. I wonder if it’s possible to import or otherwise move all the posts over to another/new blog url……. or at least the stories. If that were the case, you could give fair warning, and people could subscribe via email, in which case you would have their email addresses and, in theory, email them(us) the link to the new site.

    Or, you could leave an email addy for people to contact you with, if they wanted to make the jump.

    I would seriously hate for you to lose this version of your work. I would also hate to lose your site. 😀

    In a perfect world, I would also be writing. Given that my kids are with me literally 24/7, I have to be content with reading and not writing at this stage in the game.

    Glad this worked out to a favorable resolution for all of us! 🙂

    • Eroticmoonbeam

      Thanks!! I’m going to move to self hosting in the not too distant future but I count my blessings that she doesn’t know about this blog!! It was only the stories on WE that she was aware of, thanks to the sites wonderful owner this will no longer be an issue.

      My kids attend nursery/school for certains time of the week, this is my writing life line.

      It’s fair to say that unless the book publishes I won’t be letting on about any other literary attempts to my local friends!

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