Pulling the Plug – Updated
I almost pulled the plug last night. Bought the shutters down on this little corner of the internet and walked away. Almost. It’s an option I’m still considering.
I have not hidden the fact that I’m married and I have children. Against popular myth married women and mothers do have sex too and many of them are open with this fact and happily discuss sex with their girlfriends. I have a girlfriend with whom I do talk about sex, not in any great detail but generally, because I considered her a close friend I told her about my difficulties in writing the sex scenes for my book (which is close to completion) and how the heroine kicked my arse (in my head) for glossing over what happened even though I saw it in detail, apparently that needed to be written as much as any other part.
This friend also knows that I wrote some short stories for a site called WordEjaculation and yes, they were erotica and this is where the problem lies. When tiddly, she keeps telling anyone who will listen to her that I write about sex. She actually called it Porn the first time – I was mortified. When I submitted to WE I did so on the understanding that my work was gifted and like any gift I can’t have it back… I long to have it back, I feel it’s loss but mainly to stop this friend being able to have the bloody link to the pages!! I’d seriously struggle giving work away again…
Now, I don’t have a problem with writing Erotica obviously, I think I make a fair stab at it, it seems to be reasonably well received, I enjoy writing it more then any other genre and if it were just me I wouldn’t give a toss what people think (although it has to be said that mostly people are small minded and can be ruthlessly nasty concerning an openness to sex or anything vaguely kinky) No, my concern is for my Children. They are the ones that will get bullied because their mother writes ‘Porn’ they are the ones who’s friends parents will whisper behind their back and will get teased mercilessly – not me.
So I need to talk to my friend and ask her categorically not to keep telling people, that I will tell who I choose as it’s my business and not hers and quite frankly she needs to back off.
And if she can’t or won’t? I’m pulling the plug on Moonbeam because I WILL NOT be the cause of hurt to my children.
~ * ~
4 hours later a couple of phone calls and a large dose of perspective mixed in with several large coffees and I think we have a resolution.
My friend had no idea the impact she might have had on my life by sharing the information that I’d written ‘porn’ with all and sundry, she hadn’t considered the larger implications of sending out a link. Thankfully she can now.
Ruby at WordEjaculation has been a total star too with lots of helpful hints from an experienced Erotica writer, I’m really looking forward to EROTICON 2012 I think it’s going to be invaluable to me.
July is being a roller coaster of experience for me, makes me wonder what I’m being prepared for if you know what I mean!