Happy? Usually….

I love me, I love me, I love ME! I LOVE ME!!!

Twee isn’t it….

I have a philosophy, (one of many) it’s not a new idea, there are so few genuinely new ideas any more. My philosophy is that you can not truly love another person until you love yourself, or at least appreciate who you are, like what you can and put up with the rest as the bits that make you an interesting person to be around.

That doesn’t mean to say you have to be madly, head swellingly full of self adoration, just a little “I’m okay, I am.” will do the job.  Happiness and the ability to happy with someone else starts within you. It takes time, there is no instant fix, you can’t buy it (perhaps temporarily *looks at my Audi R8 brochure*) and what works for me probably won’t work for you. It’s not really about what you do for a living or how you live that life either, more about being content with the way you see the world, the love you share, the respect you hold for others. Liking all the aspects of your personality, recognising your faults and the impact they might have on other people. Being okay with who you are.  Which of course necessitates actually know who you are and finding yourself.  It reminds me a little of that song “Never been to me.” It’s very easy to loose sight of who you are and as I’m no self help guru so I can’t tell you how to find it because only you can do that.

I know this. I have discussed this endlessly with myself and still I lose the way sometimes and to be honest, that is so easily done. Life chucks knives at us, sometimes a grand piano has been hurled in my direction and you duck and dive the best you can, holding your breath and coming up for air before you drown.  As long as I can hold on to my “I’m okay, I am.”  I can make my world work the way I want it to.

How did I learn to like me? Introspection and self analysis mostly. I write stuff down (oh! have you noticed!) I have written a lot of stuff down over the years that I do not share, I just get it out of my headspace so I can think more clearly, then I put it away for a while, a day sometimes, a week, sometimes months. Then I reread it when I have moved away from the issue and can think my way through it clearer. It’s a bit like a pros and cons list for life. Quite often, when I have thought through an issue I have and feel comfortable to move on from it I have a little burning ceremony… Yes, you read that right, I burn my words as I no longer need them, I set them free… I am not about to do this to my laptop *strokes laptop* “It’s okay darling you know I love you!”

So maybe shouting “I love me” is a little o.t.t. just a quiet smile and a “I quite like me.” is fine.

Naturally, I’m not talking physically here, that is a whole other kettle of fish. There is a reason why there are only two mirrors in this house both above chest height and I loath trying stuff on in the shops.  There is nothing Actually wrong with my body or my face, 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 much tummy, great tits and a cheeky arse. I’ve mischievous eyes and a kissable mouth apparently… It’s just when I see me in the mirror I don’t recognise that person… On the day before my 30th Birthday I stood in front of the mirror and asked the woman I saw “Who are you?” I spent a few years after that trying to find out and then my world changed anyway with the arrival of the small people as did my body… She often catches me off guard that woman, I see group photo’s with smiley faces that I recognise, the other people all look like they should and then there is me and I look… wrong somehow.  It’s more then just wrinkles and plumpness, it’s as if I expect to see a whole different face.

Still, we all have our issues 😉

~ * ~

To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here

then follow the arrows to the next post

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Posted on September 8, 2011, in Blog and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Yes, we all have our issues… but still plenty of space to see what is good and love life! it is all in the perspective.

    And quite interesting, to see ourselves as others see us…

    ~Kazi

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