Crashed and Burned…
As a ‘sex’ blogger I consider myself pretty much a nonstarter, I’ve always thought that perhaps what I am is actually a lifestyle blogger who spends far too much time thinking about and having sex… The idea makes me smile so I guess that is what I am.
This last couple of months have been tough, it’s autumn and with that come the endless sniffles and nasty bugs and as a mother of small children I’ve had one after the other. Mr.Beam says I need time to recover, he did carefully point out that whilst he believes I need time to recover he’s not giving me an opening to take it, typically life goes on..
The most obvious effect this has all had on me is the total devastation of my libido.
I’m not in the high sex drive category of folk, I’m usually happy if I get a good seeing to a couple of times a week with a few decent wanks in between, yeah okay so some days I’m feral and pretty much insatiable, I’m sure most folks have those days… Not so this month..
November has been a wasteland of nonwanking, I have no urge, no desire, no je ne said quoi. I feel bland and uninteresting, usually I’d admit the only thing sexy about me is my state of mind, oh and good tits, apparently the arse is darn fine too but I can’t see that. Nope, I’ve lost my va va voom and it’s pissing me off…
Today is day four of my TOTM and by now I’m usually ripping up the sheets to be fucked, yet here I lay at 5.30am feelin,, well to be honest, fuck all…. I’m testing myself too, usually the mere thought of my glass vibe being in the freezer compartment will get me all hot and wet, the idea of sliding it’s chilled shaft inside me usually produces shivers and not from the cold. Perhaps it’s because my beloved glass vibe is broken too *sobs* and I have not found a suitable replacement, perhaps… but to be honest I have not been looking very hard, why bother?
I guess what I need is a plan, you know something excruciating and tiresome like healthy eating, spinach, broccoli and chicken soup, perhaps some gentle exercise involving being vertical as oppose to horizontal. Or many many many cuddles… Maybe I should wank anyway…. It always strikes me the more I get the more I want so perhaps a kick start is required!
In perspective though, I have to admit I can live with this… I am generally in good health as are my family, we have a lot to be thankful for and a few sniffles do seem rather like #firstworldproblems as twitter would say. The horn will return, it always does and with it I hope will come my desire to write, for yes, sadly it would seem that has gone too, this blog is starting to look like a barren wasteland and my sanity and need for escape is being tortured by my dullness.