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TMI Tuesday: The random, nerdy, tiara wearing poo monitor one

Fun(ny) Stuff I Heard

The most idyllically random TMI ever…

1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me ____ ? (idea from PocketRockettz)

Hmmm I know it’s trendy to say nerds and geeks make you horny but if they can’t talk the talk no amount of geekness is going to rattle this girls cage… I like a man with a filthy mind who talks dirty to me, has strong hands which know how to touch me, naughty eyes which convey humour and kisses that drive me wild… I honestly couldn’t gove a monkeys arse if he’s a geek a nerd or a lawyer if he has all that! Okay, so I’m maybe lying about the lawyer bit 😉 

2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game)
a. Talent
b. Interview
c. Swimsuit
d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo)

Weeeelllllll, firstly, they don’t let women like me in beauty pagents, I am far from attractive enough and reasonably unpredictable. No way I’d wish for world peace although it’s a fine sentiment. I’d want to channel the money they waste making those shows into something more useful, like starving children for example.  Wait… perhaps with some minor surgery I could be in with a shot!  Secondly, tiaras kill, the one I wore at my wedding gouged huge holes in my skull, ouchie!!

3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore?

My breasts have been admired and apparently I have a fine arse (can’t see it myself) but my current hate is my stomach, the war of the belly commences 1st January. Remind me I said that…

4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play?
a. Straight laced detective
b. Hooded criminal
c. Crooked cop

I don’t have a penis, so it would be the Invisible Man ‘Ba Boom Tish!’

5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show)
a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or
b. Get shot in the knee

I would rather do no such thing!!! This is my blog I will do what I want so c) Go Skiing in the Rockies

*Claps hands in glee* oh yes c!

6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously)
a. Go commando
b. Do nothing
c. Turn ‘em inside out
d. Wash in employee sink

oooo one I’m prepared to answer! a & d I’m not carrying pooey knacks around… and this happens to my 3yo far to regularly so just call me the poo monitor. 

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the TMI Tuesday Blog post for today, so we’ll all know where to read your responses.

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Sinful Sunday

Sinful Sunday