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TMI Tuesday – Chips, Crisps and Sock Eating Monsters

1. Which would you rather do and why?

a. yard work or house work

Grrr I’d rather skive off with my laptop somewhere but if I had to choose a spot of gardening perhaps?

b. hike or run

Hike, running leaves me with two black eyes and dodgy knees. I love to get lost in the forest here about, listening to them felling trees and breathing the pine tinge in the air.

c. outdoor sports or indoor sports

Skiing! *wants!!!* 

d. fast food burger from the drive-thru or sit-down salad

Surprisingly, salad. You would think I’d be stick thin the salad I get through but I also rather love Olive oil and balsamic vinegar with crusty bread. 

e. yoga or aerobics

It should be both but actually its neither – I don’t do it. End of.

f. ice-cream or cake; what kind?

Yes, I know I’m female and apparently I’m supposed to like them but tbh I’m not keen so please keep you cake and ice cream and let me have a good old fashion bag of Chippy Chips, from the paper, with so much vinegar it goes soggy and if I’m feeling really mad I will have a splash of ketchup too!!! (For my American readers, thats french fries but not the thin pathetic excuse for reformed potato, thick chunky fluffy yummy Chips!) 

g. ice cubes or hot wax; where? why?

Ohhh ice, lots of it, traced over my labia and pushed inside..  mmmmm

h. beneath the sheets or on top?

On top, unless it really cold.

2. What was your favorite subject in high school/secondary school/upper school?

English… No surprise there eh 😉

3. Do you get a full 8 hours of sleep a night? Why or why not?

I’m getting closer but no, usually I get woken by small children with nightmares or himself’s alarm clock going off at 3am (it was 4.30 am this morning – respite!) I also have episodes of insomnia although my last one was Marchish, last Christmas I considered myself lucky if I slept for more than 3 hours, not necessarily in a row either… 

4. What is your favorite comfort food?

Salt and Vinegar crisps, in fact last week in Mallorca I got a crisp craving so bad I had to hot foot out to the local supermarket for a packet of Lays. (Erm and yes Dear Americans that’s what you guys call Chips – confusing much?)

5. Do you match up your socks after washing and drying them, and before putting them away?

Yes, when ever possible, which is rarely. We have our very own sock eating monster in our house so I have a sock tin which lives above the washing machine and all odd socks go in there, when it gets to overflowing the small people get tasked with matching. 

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Purple, to match my clothes and my red hat that doesn’t go while I spend my money on brandy and summer gloves and satin shoes 😉 

Bonus: When you have sexual dreams or dreams about sex, what does the dream generally involve? Is it a reoccurring theme?

I haven’t had a sexy dream since the hairdresser (hurumph) and no, no reoccuring theme, or any theme at all really.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the TMI Tuesday Blog post for today, so we’ll all know where to read your responses.

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Windows to the soul

I had a dream last night, it unnerved me and laid me bare and then soothed me so I woke up wishing it would never end.

I went to a hairdressers, not particularly unusual except I have very difficult hair to style, its thin and slightly kinky and does its own thing, bit like me really except for the thin bit… My ‘usual’ lady was not available so I left and wandered to a salon down the road, why I had no appointment strikes me as odd but then in dream world odd happens so frequently.  I found a salon where the hairdresser, huge lady with peroxide blonde hair and shrill pink lipstick, shredded my hair as I sat gobsmacked in the chair.

How many times have I been horrified with a trip to the hairdresser? Countless, I can’t tell you how many, which is why when I find someone who can manage to make a serviceable job I latch on to her like a new-born baby (not literally you understand) but for each time I’ve had this ghastly upset feeling, I’ve paid the bill and slunk away to lick my wounds in private.  Not so dream me! She ranted and raved, refused to pay, was powerful and commanding and left satisfied everyone in the street knew her displeasure – Go Me!

And yet my heart was breaking and I just wanted to wake up.

I found myself at my usual hairdressers where she and her friends exclaimed in horror at my coiffure, I was handed a stiff drink but she could do nothing, apparently I needed her friend Derek.

She rang him, he could see me, she wrote his address on a piece of paper and smiled at me, apparently I was a ‘lucky girl’

I’ve had male hairdressers before and I have found they don’t particularly fall into the gay, scissor waving, ‘So did you see what Petra was wearing at the Roxie last night! I almost died!’ variety that you see on the television. But Derek was not exactly what I did expect either.

The address was a private one, a townhouse in a terrace made of pale cream Bath stone, elegant and refined with expansively blooming hanging baskets by the door.  The door was answered by a huge, tall Black man of about 6ft 5″, he was wearing shorts, that’s all and his pecs and wash board abs make my mouth drop open now as I type remembering him, oh my, lucky girl doesn’t even go there. I introduced myself and he reached out and ran his fingers through my hair, uttering in the deepest voice I have ever heard “You really need me don’t you darlin'”  Need? This goes beyond what I need, this dream just entered the realms of I Never Want To Wake Up!

So, he led me the garden, a courtyard affair with high walls keeping the neighbours eyes away, it was sunny but comfortable with many flower boxes, he asked me to sit on one of two stools, I did as I was told meekly and felt a thrill as he pulled the other stool up behind me close, sitting on the stool so his thighs encircled me, his long legs wrapping around mine. Running his fingers through my hair, I closed my eyes and relaxed as he worked methodically, his strong hands pulling gently at my hair, the sound of the scissors slicing overlaying the soft sound of his breathing so close to my ear.  After a while I felt his finger tips brush my shoulders and then something softer, his lips kissing behind my ear crooning “You smell so incredible, like strawberries” his hands held my shoulders firmly as he kissed my neck, slowly turning the stool, lips tracing my collar-bone, up my neck to my jaw, his hands cupping my breasts, thumbs slowly caressing my nipples through my blouse  as I melted into his kisses my lips exploring his mouth, my hands on his thighs….

I woke up.

Yeah, crap eh….