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NAKED!!!

I like naked.

Naked feels good, clothes feel wrong. They confine me. I like to feel a breeze brush over my skin, my body to move unfettered. Apparently there is a label for people like me, it’s Naturist. I do love feeling closer to nature. So I’m ruling out the possibility I might be (like Urban Dictionary suggests) a pretentious Nudist 😉

Following on from my last post you would be forgiven for being confused. There seems to be a conception out there that naturist are exhibitionist. Right or wrong, I couldn’t say. I’ve not been able to be naked in public since I was about 9 on a beach in France, apart from the changing rooms in the sports centre, I’d like to try again.

I don’t have a local ‘Naturist’ spot or spa around here, the nearest one appears to be just over an hour away and I have seen it said that it’s full of ‘clothes’ out for a leer *shudders*. I’d like to find an isolated spot, in a forest somewhere secluded and fling my clothes off, caution and skin to the wind. The thought of someone finding me like that, alone,  scares seven bells out of me!

It’s just not to be is it…

So I will continue to wear as little clothing as I can outside my home. Walk through the door, strip off…

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Wax on, Wax off…

Yesterday I hand another of those “Why the HELL am I doing this again?” Experiences. Lying on the couch at the beauticians, she spreads hot wax on my mound of venus and other slightly more intimate parts then yanks it off… and I try not to scream… Well, not so much these days because it is getting easier, apart from the nusance of the ingrowing hairs! TMI? Okay… moving swiftly on.

Someone asked me  “You and Mr.Beam must be getting on great if you are having a wax?” Hmmm. Interesting question. Yes, Mr.Beam and I are getting on really well at the moment and long may that last but that is not why I get a wax.  I do it because for 2 or 3 weeks it feels so good… all silky smooth and soft to touch. It’s as much as I can do to drag my fingers away from my pussy! Of course, he’s a fan too, I hesitate to say it but if it were just for him, I’d not go through all that, perhaps just a tidy up around the edges.

I used to just have the Bikini wax, usually just if we were heading off on holiday somewhere, even if it was to go skiing, my idea of apres Ski is a bottle or two of ice cold beer consumed whilst in an outdoor hot tub. One prefers not to worry about escaping hairs in that situation. As time has gone on though, I’ve become accustomed to seeing pictures of vaginas without hair, the porn industry is responsible for a lot more metal conditioning then just bukkake… So I tend to go these days with a landing strip, I might be inclined to have it all off but (as I often say) I’m a Mummy before so many things these days and it just doesn’t seem right to me as the adult female in the house, not to have some pubic hair.

This time I was toying with a triangle or even a heart shape, I’m sure that would make him chuckle but something stopped me… Not embarrassment that is for sure, after all I just had a woman touching the entire outer pussy area, she is so very thorough sometimes I wonder as she runs her fingers over my skin.  The wax is so wonderfully warm too, perhaps it’s the pain that stops it being a turn on, because it’s not the right kind of pain for me, it just hurts like fuck. The result is so smooth and sexy though I can’t wait to offer myself up for face time.

So, really, selfishly, this is for me, I do it purely for personal reasons, it makes me feel comfortable and sexy.  If anyone else gets to enjoy it too, that is just a fringe benefit 😉

It got me wondering as I was lying there, what do other people do to themselves for themselves to make them feel sexy?

 

TMI Tuesday: Summertime, Hol’s, Lube and Sneaky Sex ;-)

In the Summertime

1. What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit?

I’m not a fan of clothing, I find it restrictive and uncomfortable but I do appreciate that not everyone wants to look at my slightly flabby, stretchmarked torso, not attractive! There are always deliveries to sign for here and I really don’t want to give the old guy a coronary.  So while I tend not to wear anything at all in the house if I can help it I do throw on a sundress or just a long skirt pulled up over my boobs for in the garden.

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go?

We have been, we went to Mallorca for a week. We also had 2 nights in Dartmouth and a weekend in Minehead earlier this year, I’m trying to sort out another camping trip for late August.

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)?

Ideally a weekend away should be somewhere new every time, there is so much to see why restrict yourself? I have always fancied a Luxury Spa weekend (any PR people reading? I’d do a hot write up!) I have also got a long list of European and UK cities I’d like to visit starting with Rome but the forest is one of my favourite places, the smell of the trees, cool breezes, bird song…

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend?

Sexy undies, lube, a few toys and something smart to wear out for Dinner, just encase we remembered to eat!

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip?

There is nothing, when we get back from a trip the bags are emptied completely and put away.

Bonus: Last vacation sex… Tell us what happened

Sneaky, muffled, pillow biting, quiet sex in a room in which my children were sleeping….

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the TMI Tuesday Blog post for today, so we’ll all know where to read your responses.

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Shooting Stars on EroticMoonbeam

I was completely unprepared for the response I received from last weeks post Vajazzle Me! If I’d have had a clue I would have upped the anti somewhat, perhaps run a competition, donations to charity – anything to be honest! Who would have thought that a little design of crystals would have caused such a fuss! Personally I laughed for hours! If you missed it (hrumph!) I chose three Vajazzle designs, a shooting star, a fish and a dragonfly and asked my readers to choose which one I should wear for my holiday which starts tomorrow (SQUEEEEEE!!)

I must admit to probably having had too much wine last Saturday as the idea of posting pictures of myself here kind of turns my stomach, self love or just not giving a damn are issues I have yet to work through, I loath pictures of me!

The thing that really amazed me was the generosity of Vajazzled UK who promised to supply me the other two designs free when I purchased the winning one! I’d plucked them off the internet after seeing they were actually the best value for money in the Vajazzle world and dropped them a link to my little blog purely out of cheekiness!

The ten votes I asked for came in thick and fast with the shooting star being the most popular, I duly placed my order on the 18th and they were here by the 20th! Flaming great service!!

So many huge thanks to Susan at Vajazzled UK, I may be back for one of those lovely Gem Too tattoos at some point.

So here it is, the shooting star on the newly waxed me ….

Vajazzle Shooting Star on Eroticmoonbeam

Vajazzle Shooting Star on Eroticmoonbeam

And what have I learnt from this? Think carefully before you offer to post pictures of yourself *cringe* One is no supermodel 😉

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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here

then follow the arrows to the next post

Dear Boys of the Interweb

Dear Boys of the Interweb

What the fuck makes you think we ladies want to see your dicks?

*breathes calmly and continues*

Obviously I am only speak for myself concerning the matter but that has never stopped me randomly ranting before.

Pictures of your private member in your Twitter avi are not pleasant, self portraits in my Submit box are not devoured with relish, rather scorned at and deleted (especially if you are a spotty teenager – I’m no cougar! but brownie points there for audacity 😉 )

Don’t get me wrong chaps, I like penis, yes I do! Love it even… I’m most certainly a cock girl, maleness is my thing but like so many other women my HEAD gets turned on before my BODY, mostly in the form of allure and mystery, a hint of a great thing being restrained in your trousers.  The mere suggestion of your fuck me eyes is more likely to get what you are after then flashing your equipment. Your confidence in your ability (confidence not arrogance!) your body language, your desire are most likely to get you noticed. If you can effectively weave words of desire and longing (and you can deal with my tendency towards sarcasm) with a hint of bad boy and a big dose of humour: THAT is the path of attraction! Even in 140 charectors, we can tell the diamonds not matter how rough.

I can tune out (thanks to my app) any pictures you may wish to post in your timeline so fair enough but please, Not Avatars of your pride and joy or prong pictures in my DM box.

I totally understand that a lot of you appreciate the finer attributes of the female body being displayed for your perusal and would probably not object to all womens Avi’s being being boobs or pussy pictures. When John Grey said ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ he was so very right and that is what makes life so very interesting a lot of the time, feel free to look and enjoy, it doesn’t work like that for me, I’m a Venusian.

Now look, I know you are not all in the dark about this, I had a chat with a fella this morning on the very same subject, though I completely understand why he (a straight man) blocked someone for a dick picture, so spread the word and help the other chaps out, enlighten them, (or perhaps enlighten me as to why I’m wrong.)

The sexiest avi’s I have seen in recent months involved a man crawling across a bed towards the camera, a wonderful smart suit and tie shot, a naked chest and a might fine set of abs. I know you could be misled by the beautifully lit and photographed pictures of male incredibleness that inevitably adores most female’s tumblrs, mine included. By all means, hire a top class clicker and get your naked body out in the mainstream as black and white photographic art, I’m all for that!  Love it. But honestly, you can’t replicate that with your blackberry…

Many kind regards, looking forward to sexy teasing Avi’s in my time line

Me.

 

To start at the begining of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post

Where does one get a Mid-Life Crisis?

After consideration I have decided I don’t want to get much older than my age again, which means (hopefully) I’m facing my mid-life right now. I’ve written a bucket list on my infinitely more sensible and restrained family blog, which are mostly still pending but they are fairly tame desires. I need to revisit the concept here and let my mind go mad a little

So how does one get a mid-life crisis because there are somethings I’d like to do…

  • I’d like to tour Europe in a sports car and fuck in all the countries I’ve not been laid in and fuck in all the ones I have too…
  • Max out my credit card at Agent Provocateur, it’s empty at the moment…
  • I want to walk through the streets of Germany eating pretzels and carrying a torch at the Octoberfest, drink beer from a stein and flirt with loads of men.
  • Ski naked
  • Hide behind a waterfall and give someone a blowjob
  • I want to learn burlesque and shake my tail feathers at someone until he literally explodes
  • I’d like to sit on the left bank an eat oysters, sipping champagne, people watching.
  • Simmer slowly in a geothermal pool in Iceland basking in the sunshine of the middle of the night,
  • I’d like to get smashed on cocktails at Mardi Gras and wake up clueless weighed down by beads
  • I’d like to meet a handsome stranger in a dark room and give myself over to him totally – no wait, make that two handsome strangers.
  • My Fuck me Friday #cream – yeah that…
  • I’d like to be suspended from the ceiling in a sex swing and played with until I beg for him to stop
  • I’d like to ‘buy a date with…’ at a charity auction, I’d also like to be sold at the same type of function.
  • I’d love to come home and find the house immaculate, washing and ironing done, dinner cooking, a bath run and my glass vibe chilling in the freezer. Opps – I think that one just slipped in there…
Tip of the iceberg 😉
Now your turn, old or not tell me your mid-life crisis fantasies!

Drastic!

Drastic is a little of an exaggeration but I’m prone to that eh!

Yesterday I found myself without internet… *gasp*!!

So what did I do to entertain myself and the other half as the rain poured down outside?

I shall tell you.

Naked Wii.

I’m not allowed to play the sword fighting on Wii Resort with children present because I get very er.. agitated and my language deteriorates rapidly but I do so love a good cut and thrust. I especially love the bit where you get to run along and slice up a load of opponents, although the daft buggers take it in turns to attack you…  They need a talk about strategic action which would include the words “get the bitch!”

So I tend to do lots of enthusiastic jumping around whilst swearing. Remove the scaffolding and I’m prone to black eyes. I kid you not. The other half crossed the room and made himself comfy because I’m right handed as he couldn’t ‘watch’ from his usual chair. There is something liberating about bouncing around naked, swearing the air blue chopping up people with a sword and when it was his turn I had a fabulous time watching it swing…

….and inevitably one type of cut and thrust sword play leads another.

A most entertaining evening I must say, although, honestly internet, please don’t leave me for so long again!

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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post

A new thing…

I’ve found a new thing and I’m sharing in the interest of “because I can” rather than “because you will be interested” so ner.

Childish delight over 😉 I’m amazed how much such a simple thing can bring me so much pleasure! I guess I should just get on and tell you about it eh?

I’m a curvy woman, I have been curvier but at the moment I’m finding a middle ground on the curves that I’m happy with, there are one or two that need a little action (but I really hate sit ups!) and a couple of areas I’d prefer to be ‘what they once were’ but gravity is a right bitch 😦 In general, it’s taken me a while but I have come around to the idea that this body of mine is pretty alright actually.

So the new thing? It’s daft, standing up I put my hand on my back as high up as I can palm down and sweep it down the curve of my back and over the rise of my buttock until my fingertips part company just before my thigh, like a swish…. The pleasure derives from the feeling of the continuous curve, my hand encounters no bumps or love handles, my skin is as it always had been very soft and my bottom is not big! I like that part best, I think I have a nice arse, although I have been know to utter the phrase “does my bum look big in this?”

I’m finding I’m doing this swish at all sorts of moments, it makes me go ‘ahhhh’ inside and melt a little so doing it in public isn’t the best idea but it’s happening. In the supermarket yesterday when I was pondering the merits of added Omega 3 in fish fingers – swish – mmmmm… Realising what I had done I looked around carefully to check no one was watching, phew… safe.  Of course I wasn’t naked in Iceland it feels much better when I’m naked…

Good job I love being naked.

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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post