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Wax on, Wax off…

Yesterday I hand another of those “Why the HELL am I doing this again?” Experiences. Lying on the couch at the beauticians, she spreads hot wax on my mound of venus and other slightly more intimate parts then yanks it off… and I try not to scream… Well, not so much these days because it is getting easier, apart from the nusance of the ingrowing hairs! TMI? Okay… moving swiftly on.

Someone asked me  “You and Mr.Beam must be getting on great if you are having a wax?” Hmmm. Interesting question. Yes, Mr.Beam and I are getting on really well at the moment and long may that last but that is not why I get a wax.  I do it because for 2 or 3 weeks it feels so good… all silky smooth and soft to touch. It’s as much as I can do to drag my fingers away from my pussy! Of course, he’s a fan too, I hesitate to say it but if it were just for him, I’d not go through all that, perhaps just a tidy up around the edges.

I used to just have the Bikini wax, usually just if we were heading off on holiday somewhere, even if it was to go skiing, my idea of apres Ski is a bottle or two of ice cold beer consumed whilst in an outdoor hot tub. One prefers not to worry about escaping hairs in that situation. As time has gone on though, I’ve become accustomed to seeing pictures of vaginas without hair, the porn industry is responsible for a lot more metal conditioning then just bukkake… So I tend to go these days with a landing strip, I might be inclined to have it all off but (as I often say) I’m a Mummy before so many things these days and it just doesn’t seem right to me as the adult female in the house, not to have some pubic hair.

This time I was toying with a triangle or even a heart shape, I’m sure that would make him chuckle but something stopped me… Not embarrassment that is for sure, after all I just had a woman touching the entire outer pussy area, she is so very thorough sometimes I wonder as she runs her fingers over my skin.  The wax is so wonderfully warm too, perhaps it’s the pain that stops it being a turn on, because it’s not the right kind of pain for me, it just hurts like fuck. The result is so smooth and sexy though I can’t wait to offer myself up for face time.

So, really, selfishly, this is for me, I do it purely for personal reasons, it makes me feel comfortable and sexy.  If anyone else gets to enjoy it too, that is just a fringe benefit 😉

It got me wondering as I was lying there, what do other people do to themselves for themselves to make them feel sexy?



Chocolate Fetish Frustration!

I’ve always fancied that I’m pretty mean at Tumblr… Tell me what you want to look at and I will have a pretty good go at finding something that hit’s the spot, I love surfing through archives picking out pictures that appeal to me, which is probably why my Tumblr addiction has got so bad – I need to cut back and I will – soon #addict!

Yesterday I decided to have a theme day on The Darker Side of a Lady, why will become apparent to those of you following, it’s just a bit of fun. I found quite a few of the pictures I wanted in my stream and then I wanted a picture of a beautiful man covered in melted chocolate. Not hard you would think but I have spent hours trawling through Tumblr, Google and Flickr and I’m coming up dead.

I asked Tumblr to help and instantly 2 people suggested this

Which I had actually already found myself and dismissed, he’s 1) a bit seedy and 2) not enough nakedness (but thanks for trying guys xx ), Another Tumblr I follow said she had one in her archives so I dutifully trawled her archives and found this

Now we are getting there! On closer inspection, this photo is really poor quality, it’s grainy. I’d like it crisper, perhaps a little more lower? *sniggers* and black and white would be awesome!

So taking on board the slogan, you would think that out there is a picture of a hot guy with chocolate ooozing all over his wonderful chest and err whatever, in focus, preferably in black and white, tempting me to lick that chocolate off his body….

If there is I’m buggered if I can find it…

To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here

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EM’s Exploration of Kink :- A is for…

… Ambiguous… 

As in, its bloody impossible to tell exactly what is a fantasy, a fetish, a kink or  just a turn on. Different sources list different activities in different ways, some web sites are telling me that anything involving pain and bondage is ‘Kinky’ yet the dictionary definition is

Kinky – Showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes, especially of a sexual or erotic nature.

I did read (somewhere) that if you enjoy being tied up with scarves and ticked with feathers it’s a turn on, if you get bolted onto a specially made table with chains and ropes and get hit with a chicken, that’s Kinky.

Unperturbed I am going to carry on regardless, kinky is as kinky does and as I don’t really consider myself to be kinky almost anything goes. I’m not exactly vanilla, more raspberry ripple. If it doesn’t involve humping military style and rolling off and having a cigarette I’m going to consider it, anything illegal, undead or involving animals is out at the startline and yes dear reader, I’m going to remind you again that I’m not keen on pain… but perhaps we will define my interpretation of pain as we continue. Feel free to add your two’penarth worth if you feel you have something viable to add, open discussion is not kinky but the lack of it in the world suggests to me it should be 😉

Welcome to my personal search, lets get going.


Consensual fantasy play acting out the mock capture, bondage, struggle, and intimidation of one or more sexual partners. The fantasy may be reinforced by the use of costumes, especially police or military uniforms, and the use of bondage paraphernalia such as handcuffs, rope, tape, and blindfolds. 

My oh my, this little gem really seems to get people’s juices flowing, it seems to be an extension of Autassassinophilia, sexual arousal gained by placing yourself in life threatening situations.

Reports of this fantasy roleplay range from partners acting out in the comfort of their own home to businesses promising to make abduction come true for you, snatching you off the street and performing your desire in minute detail.  There is so much scope for tailoring to your own need, the thrill is in the detail, leather gloves, chemical laden cloth over the mouth, pillow cases over the head, blindfold, bondage, rough treatment… Making it believable.

I personally can see the attraction of certain elements of this, but I don’t get off on being scared shitless which is the main benefit as far as I can see. For my own personal sanity I’d need to know and trust my abductor which probably defeats the object…

… and rape play leaves me not just cold but recoiling in horror. So what does that leave? A bit of bondage and some rough sex :-s


Now, I already have a bit of a thing for accents. I’m a woman who relishes her silence as there is never enough of it in my world. (I don’t listen to music, tolerate radio 4 when I’m bored and have a Auralism for natural sounds, sitting in the woods listening the wind moving through the trees is quite a turn on – yay for outdoor sex!) I’ve even refined my desire of accents down to well spoken Scottish and Geordie accents.

I’ve never actually been excited to orgasm by talking on the phone or in person to someone with the right accent, so if you call me for a conversation there is no need to be concerned about my self-possession crumbling at your dulcet tones, I’m not about to wank down the phone at you… Unless you start talking dirty to me. I did spend a little time a few months ago trying to find an erotic voice recording of a Scot or Geordie, alas my search was in vain…

This is an area I’d like to spend a little more time investigating, I can’t be the only woman who enjoys listening to a man detailing what he intends to do to her! Finding the right voice recording is very important, content is an area full of pitfalls as the wrong tone or situation can be an instant turn off but *sigh* in the name of research I’m willing to give it another go! I shall let you know what I find and any pointers in the sexy auditory department are very welcome!

To be continued….

Female Fuckbuddy?

You know those time where you think you are missing out and you really don’t want to but you feel you have just missed the boat and even if you caught it, the ride might not be to your liking anyway? That…

I expect you are all groaning and mumbling “What the fuck…” as usual.

Basically it’s this. I’m really open minded, as long as it doesn’t involve Children, Animals and it’s consensual you can get up to what you like and within the vast constraints in my personal life, so can I.

Only I can’t…

I’m not – no matter how much I think I would like to be – Sexually attracted to other women, in any way and I find this a little disappointing to say the least. Over the years I must have met and enjoyed the company of hundreds of people and silently in my head somewhere, quite often at subconscious level I have that annoyingly human propensity to file them in little boxes, like “not hot” “agreeable” “fairly hot”  “Fuck, I’d do you” and that rare beast “Take me now!!!”  I’ve never met a woman who gets further then an appreciative reflective “fairly hot”.

I’ve even discussed this with a friend of mine who just happens to be a lesbian, she said “You are just going to have to face the fact, as sad as it is, that you are straight and get over it!” She said this with a wry smile on her face too. She was amused by the idiocy of a straight woman, who actually would quite like to experience another woman but can’t find one she even remotely fancies because basically they are women and she doesn’t fancy them. I know, it’s daft.

Lets face it a female fuck-buddy would be awesome. Would there be anything more wonderful then sex with another woman? I mean all that soft skin, a delectable pussy to explore, nipple and breasts to squeeze. Other great win points are neither of us would get pregnant, there would be no arguments about the toilet seat being left up and if I had a problem she could help me discuss it rather than offering a solution without really listening! But, No matter how I think of it I can’t see it becoming a possibility.

Honestly, I’m getting wet just writing the last paragraph. I wonder if this perhaps means that somewhere, out in the world somewhere is a woman who could make me feel that spark of desire, to take the leap forward and revel in the delights of her glorious body and allow her to enjoy mine. It would take that spark too, the “Fuck, I’d do you” category because without it I don’t do anyone, a lesson I learnt in my ever so slightly promiscuous 20’s after a few ‘mistakes’, it doesn’t matter how horny you are you have to live with your choices of partner, so I’d always tried to pick men I could remember with a clench and a smile.

A gentleman friend said to me this week on this very subject “You know, there is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with being straight.” and I do know that, although the internet and erotica seems to be full of Bi-Curious women trying to find some one to slake the curiosity, I’m aware that I’m actually very confident in my sexuality, I guess that is why I feel that I might have missed the boat, because I don’t feel the need to actively explore this sexual element.  I just continue on my journey in “Cockdom” enjoying the delights of the male body and mind, any wondering if there might be a woman out there who could ignite my lust is so deep in my mind that unless someone else says something it never occurs to me. Part of me hopes it’s not impossible though, part of me how ever dormant, still looks at women to see if they make the “Fuck, I’d do you” category,  she would have to be very special, one could argue that such a woman might not exist and in all probability if she did, she wouldn’t fancy me anyway…

Such is life.


The Power of Sex…

I’ve been asked;

Is it the thought of sex or sex itself that is more powerful for you?

It’s an intriguing question, one which I have spent a fair amount of time considering.

The thoughts of sex? 

I do think about sex a lot, sex and entanglement, of emotion, of desire.  The flirtatious firsts, kissing, touching, words spoken, body language, the unwritten signs, sexual chemistry.  The inner workings, thought patterns, lack of thought patterns. Deeper still; the movement, texture, smell, sound. At some point during everything I write I pause and think, what is she thinking, did he like that, is this working…

What turns me on, what turns me off…

Scenarios of sex play through my mind, stories need to brew until they over boiling from my head. I actually find it hard to write to a prompt or on a specific day, for personal reasons writing erotica on a Friday or at the weekend is much harder for me.  Which is why I try extra hard to join in with the prompted time related writing – it’s the masochistic streak in me.

Words fill my mind, I find a lot of writers don’t read, to a degree I’m guilty of that too, I have my favourite blogs that I try (and usually fail) to keep up with, they are not all erotic blogs, often human interest – people intrigue me, will she, won’t she, has he? These thoughts are ultimately about sex (or money.)

I have a deep passion for carefully constructed seductive words. If I find an erotic writer who articulately expresses their writing in a way that makes my mind reel and body react I will read everything they write. Words go through my head and my body follows. The way to my passion is through words.  I appreciate their danger like so few others.

Thoughts of sex are extremely powerful. In my head sex is exciting and positive, enthralling and beguiling. Nothing ever turns me off because I won’t let it happen, it’s all rose tinted and perfect even when it’s messy and squelchy, dirty and nasty – it all flows perfectly.

Sex itself?

Is fabulous, it contains everything my kookie mind dreams up because I do like putting my thoughts into actions, my other half is open to suggestions but to be honest he is just as good at coming up with ideas and feeling how he goes as I am.

Putting him aside for a moment and considering the question from the angle my friend wanted to know about.

Sex actually can be hard to get right, so many things can let you down.  New partners although exciting a prospect do not flow like holywood movie stars, not everything will click, whilst this can be fun to fathom out it can also be difficult if you don’t know how to communicate your need, how do you say ‘actually that isn’t working’ in the full throng of fellatio ;-0

Someone says the wrong thing, misinterprets your mood, bodily functions interrupt the atmosphere. There might be too much light, not enough light, the music isn’t getting you off, you drank too much, you didn’t drink enough!


As I have said before, I’m a Venusian and things on Venus are much more refined then on Mars, or Earth for that matter, can a woman who dreams of perfect ever expect that to happen in real life with all it’s uncomfortable limb entangled, misunderstanding, farting, coughing, finding a stray pubic hair in your mouth mess that is REALITY??

Well, it has happened so why should it not happen again *smirks*

Now whilst you might think this answers his question and the thought is more alluring then the act I’d like to add that  my friend also asked me:

Is the thought of having an affair…. the daydreams… fantasies….. better than the real thing…. in the long run.

and to be honest with you my dear I have no idea… Is having an affair a good idea at all?  Would it not be better off being in the open? A consensual arrangement between partners of an acknowledged physical need for variety? In my dreams…

Some would say no. Because of the emotional attachment that seems to get involved, the longing, the desire, the haunting feeling that comes of not being able to have the one person you want. The futility of knowing what you have however good it was before may never be right again, not to mention living with the guilt, the betrayal.

Some would say yes. The thrill of the chase, the adrenaline, the discovery of a new person, the potential of fulfillment….

Sexual utopia for me would perhaps be a place where experimentation with other people is permissive IF the parties concerned were able to separate their feelings from the act, in my experience this is a rare occurrence.

I can’t help thinking that the more I think about sex and having sex, the thought of lovers and being the object of someones desire , of being wanted, held and loved for the sake of the moment the more questions I find I have…

To my friend who asked the question I’d say that any conclusions I may ever reach on the subject – and finding a conclusion is not looking good – would only ever apply to me in that moment. I can’t answer this for you.

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Shooting Stars on EroticMoonbeam

I was completely unprepared for the response I received from last weeks post Vajazzle Me! If I’d have had a clue I would have upped the anti somewhat, perhaps run a competition, donations to charity – anything to be honest! Who would have thought that a little design of crystals would have caused such a fuss! Personally I laughed for hours! If you missed it (hrumph!) I chose three Vajazzle designs, a shooting star, a fish and a dragonfly and asked my readers to choose which one I should wear for my holiday which starts tomorrow (SQUEEEEEE!!)

I must admit to probably having had too much wine last Saturday as the idea of posting pictures of myself here kind of turns my stomach, self love or just not giving a damn are issues I have yet to work through, I loath pictures of me!

The thing that really amazed me was the generosity of Vajazzled UK who promised to supply me the other two designs free when I purchased the winning one! I’d plucked them off the internet after seeing they were actually the best value for money in the Vajazzle world and dropped them a link to my little blog purely out of cheekiness!

The ten votes I asked for came in thick and fast with the shooting star being the most popular, I duly placed my order on the 18th and they were here by the 20th! Flaming great service!!

So many huge thanks to Susan at Vajazzled UK, I may be back for one of those lovely Gem Too tattoos at some point.

So here it is, the shooting star on the newly waxed me ….

Vajazzle Shooting Star on Eroticmoonbeam

Vajazzle Shooting Star on Eroticmoonbeam

And what have I learnt from this? Think carefully before you offer to post pictures of yourself *cringe* One is no supermodel 😉

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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here

then follow the arrows to the next post

Vajazzle me! Update

The dawn chorus woke me at 4.10am and for once my first though was “I wonder what happened about the Vajazzling!” So I got up to see.

10 votes exactly have been cast. 1 Fish, 3 Dragonfly and 7 Stars

This means the other half is going to have to get handy with his camera next week (surprisingly he was giggling like an idiot at my antics last night! The idea of me being sprawled in front of him naked with his camera appealed, naughty man!)

But Look!

I said I’d give this until Wednesday, so keep voting for your favourite design and the one with the most votes wins, and if you visit Vajazzled UK have a look at the GemToo’s the lovely lady there thinks I might like them as well! (She’s right I do!)

Vajazzle Me!

The Holiday is booked, the passports are up to date, my bikini wax is Monday week… So I was wondering if I should get a Vajazzle?

Vajazzle is the most often used keyword for someone finding my blog 😀 No seriously it is!!!!  Perhaps I should be an ambassador for the vajazzle? Presenting myself as a *sex goddess instead of the horny, exotic, slightly bohemian, mischievious minx I **might actually be…

It seems like a good idea!

I’ve been surfing the internet ( all discounts welcome guys 😉 ) and I’m considering the following designs. Please tell me what you think – honestly – If this is a bad idea it might be wise to let me know too because I do have a tendency to go a bit daft when I get an idea in my head…




or C.

I’m asking YOU to choose! and if at least 10 people do post a comment with their choice I will post a picture of the winning vajazzle in place 😉 (That’s 10 unique commentors not the same person 10 times)

I’ve got to order this and get it here so you have until Wednesday… Go! 

* This might be an exaggeration

** This is not 😉

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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here

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Dear Boys of the Interweb

Dear Boys of the Interweb

What the fuck makes you think we ladies want to see your dicks?

*breathes calmly and continues*

Obviously I am only speak for myself concerning the matter but that has never stopped me randomly ranting before.

Pictures of your private member in your Twitter avi are not pleasant, self portraits in my Submit box are not devoured with relish, rather scorned at and deleted (especially if you are a spotty teenager – I’m no cougar! but brownie points there for audacity 😉 )

Don’t get me wrong chaps, I like penis, yes I do! Love it even… I’m most certainly a cock girl, maleness is my thing but like so many other women my HEAD gets turned on before my BODY, mostly in the form of allure and mystery, a hint of a great thing being restrained in your trousers.  The mere suggestion of your fuck me eyes is more likely to get what you are after then flashing your equipment. Your confidence in your ability (confidence not arrogance!) your body language, your desire are most likely to get you noticed. If you can effectively weave words of desire and longing (and you can deal with my tendency towards sarcasm) with a hint of bad boy and a big dose of humour: THAT is the path of attraction! Even in 140 charectors, we can tell the diamonds not matter how rough.

I can tune out (thanks to my app) any pictures you may wish to post in your timeline so fair enough but please, Not Avatars of your pride and joy or prong pictures in my DM box.

I totally understand that a lot of you appreciate the finer attributes of the female body being displayed for your perusal and would probably not object to all womens Avi’s being being boobs or pussy pictures. When John Grey said ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ he was so very right and that is what makes life so very interesting a lot of the time, feel free to look and enjoy, it doesn’t work like that for me, I’m a Venusian.

Now look, I know you are not all in the dark about this, I had a chat with a fella this morning on the very same subject, though I completely understand why he (a straight man) blocked someone for a dick picture, so spread the word and help the other chaps out, enlighten them, (or perhaps enlighten me as to why I’m wrong.)

The sexiest avi’s I have seen in recent months involved a man crawling across a bed towards the camera, a wonderful smart suit and tie shot, a naked chest and a might fine set of abs. I know you could be misled by the beautifully lit and photographed pictures of male incredibleness that inevitably adores most female’s tumblrs, mine included. By all means, hire a top class clicker and get your naked body out in the mainstream as black and white photographic art, I’m all for that!  Love it. But honestly, you can’t replicate that with your blackberry…

Many kind regards, looking forward to sexy teasing Avi’s in my time line



To start at the begining of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post