This week has been a toughy, you haven’t noticed have you… Nah, I know, I’m full of blarney.
It went down hill rapidly on Tuesday night when the OH decided he’d quite like to read ‘Scarlet’ the longer story I’m writing at the moment, it’s a lot more romantic than some of my stuff. After a while of reading though he went very quiet. Basically instead of reading Scarlet he’d chosen to start at the beginning of the blog posts here.
Now, I’m not daft, I’m not hiding my musing from him, I’ve told him exactly what I’ve written, we have discussed the “other man” MMF, swinging thing almost endlessly to the point of boredom… and yet still, inside him somewhere is a seed of doubt. I do understand that too. I’m very good at understanding! I’m also very good at make up sex, even if I did stay up to midnight with it all whirling in my head getting totally stressed after he went to bed. I just woke him up for a pretty fast and furious hard fuck…. He didn’t complain much 😉
Going over it all again was not good for me though, I crashed. BIG TIME!
Wednesday was messy. Fortunately I’d written my ‘Vanilla’ post on Tuesday and I had my head back together by Friday… *sigh*
He seems to think he has to make all my fantasies come true. (Touching darling, honestly, but unnecessary.) I’ve tried several times to make him see that he doesn’t have to hire a sports car for the day and fuck me on the bonnet – it’s fantasy! He doesn’t need to worry about my daydreams of candlelit soirees with two dark handsome strangers – it’s fantasy! He’d never manage to persuade Colin Firth to take me skinny dipping – fantasy, Fantasy, FANTASY!!!!
Without fantasy life would be quite dull. I know some of them are obtainable with a little work and a bit of money, it is possible to hire an R8 for the day if you take a second mortgage out on your house. If I asked Twitter for a couple of volunteers for a spit roast I’m sure hands would be raised. but like all life time dreams once the are achieved do they not just become fond memories? Is reality not harsh in comparison? I mean, how likely is it that the reality will be half as good as what happens in my brain. Lets face it, sex on a R8 is probably uncomfortable, talk dark handsome strangers will probably turn into my worst porn nightmare and Colin will fart in the bath….
Such is life….
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The Questions That Floor You.. He asked me
“So, what is it about a MMF that really interests you?”
See me, yes, that’s me, the speechless one. I’m only speechless because the question was so unexpected and because my brain just went into overkill trying to come up with the answer. All neurological pathways between my brain and my mouth ceased to function, which to be honest is just as well…
…. and because I have no idea.
Funnily enough, his question arrived not long after the lovely Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss left a comment on my post So… Sex, and the needy woman “having an MMF was a very erotic and mind blowing experience and one that I am sooooo glad I had.” Oh my.. *sighs*…
…And if you work out when the lovely Molly left that comment you will see how long it’s taken me to collect my thoughts on the subject.
So in order to investigate the recesses of my mind to pin point the attraction I turn to the internet, after all, that is what it’s for isn’t it – porn?
There seem to be two trains of thought concerning the MMF, the boys want to shove their cocks in any available orifice with the woman getting used as a fuck toy and the girls want candle lit worship, soothing touching, tweaking and ecstasy… Yes, I know this is a generalisation! I’m sure there are plenty of women who’s ultimate fantasy is to be the meat in a double penetration sandwich and loads of men that want nothing more than to give a woman a sensuous experience of a life time!
No prizes for guessing I’m the candlelit erotic, exotic and worship type of girl. Although I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with ‘spit roasts’ (horrible name but it always makes me clench and lick my lips) or double penetration *bites lip* I guess I would just want it done beautifully… Rhythmic, sensual touching, listening to bodily responses and quiet exploratory love making. *drifts off*
and so, I quickly discover what is giving me the trouble with my daydreams of a MMF, what makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I don’t want my fantasies of a tender, moving sensually sexual experience to turn into a grunting porn fest. So there you are, my underlying problem. I’m a control freak, I do have trouble letting go completely and I guess there are even trust issues involved with surrendering myself to two men and if my other half was one of them I would be constantly fretting about how he was dealing with it.
Ho, Hum…. It’s a purely academical exploration of course, one that I shall be happy to keep musing over and I’m sure will require revisiting. I’m aware that in reality, the only issues that are currently unresolvable are my partners feelings and my control freakery, trust issues until such time as a solution presents itself, I can dream.
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