I was completely unprepared for the response I received from last weeks post Vajazzle Me! If I’d have had a clue I would have upped the anti somewhat, perhaps run a competition, donations to charity – anything to be honest! Who would have thought that a little design of crystals would have caused such a fuss! Personally I laughed for hours! If you missed it (hrumph!) I chose three Vajazzle designs, a shooting star, a fish and a dragonfly and asked my readers to choose which one I should wear for my holiday which starts tomorrow (SQUEEEEEE!!)
I must admit to probably having had too much wine last Saturday as the idea of posting pictures of myself here kind of turns my stomach, self love or just not giving a damn are issues I have yet to work through, I loath pictures of me!
The thing that really amazed me was the generosity of Vajazzled UK who promised to supply me the other two designs free when I purchased the winning one! I’d plucked them off the internet after seeing they were actually the best value for money in the Vajazzle world and dropped them a link to my little blog purely out of cheekiness!
The ten votes I asked for came in thick and fast with the shooting star being the most popular, I duly placed my order on the 18th and they were here by the 20th! Flaming great service!!
So many huge thanks to Susan at Vajazzled UK, I may be back for one of those lovely Gem Too tattoos at some point.
So here it is, the shooting star on the newly waxed me ….
And what have I learnt from this? Think carefully before you offer to post pictures of yourself *cringe* One is no supermodel 😉
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Okay listen up.. I’m old, I have a fragile ego and I worry about things needlessly. Only one of these I believe to be true. However, sometimes I can’t help feeling all three at once for the most bizarre reasons. Recently I have been getting a little jumpy with regard to a certain part of my anatomy, I shall tell you why.
A male friend of mine with whom I do on occasion share in very flirty banter happened to comment that he bet I had a very neat pussy. Apparently he likes a neat pussy, when I questioned what he meant he said “Some of them look like a train wreck!” bearing in mind please that he has NO IDEA what my pussy looks like I can’t help thinking he was on dodgy ground and just expressing an opinion, his opinion without even thinking about the implications of what my pussy might actually look like…
Later that week I happened to be surfing Tumblr as is my won’t and I came across a post reblogged from a site call “perfectpussies.” Out of some weird masochistic desire to horrify myself even further I had to go and have a look. Page after page of tiny mounded, light-skinned, pink and tidy, thin-lipped pussies with no pubic hair what so ever…
Now I’m feeling old and a little fragile and worried – oh boy worried.
And so, like so many women before me I fetch a mirror and have a squat. I’ve done it before but to be honest the last time was just after I’d given birth, I had stitches was bruised as fuck and really very swollen. The midwife warned me not to do it and to be honest I wish I had listened to her, it made me cry….
So I’m in the bathroom with the door firmly shut squatting over a mirror and what I see doesn’t look too bad to me but it’s not small and pale with tiny lips, au contraire, I’m olive-skinned over most of me and much darker ‘down there’ with rather large lips. (No I’m not going to post a picture, don’t even think it 😉 )
Paranoia creeps in, I ask my partner “Does my pussy look like a train wreck?” He gasped, seriously he did! “No!” He says “I love your pussy, so good to eat…” he drifts off and then starts detailing how he enjoys nibbling and sucking me, tracing his fingers lightly or being a little rougher depending on my reactions, honestly I could have listened for hours getting hornier all the time, in this respect he’s right, there is plenty to play with and oh fuck does it ever feel good!
So I feel a little less paranoid but it occurs to me after all this time that showing my vagina to a new man is actually a very scary prospect! It wouldn’t stop me for a second, don’t get me wrong but one man’s lovely pussy is another mans train wreck, surely…
So now I don’t feel so old, mainly because frankly I’m not… in my head at least. I don’t feel as fragile but I do feel a little worried still. I go back to tumblr to do some “research” and this is the conclusion I have come to…
Yes, some pussies look like a ‘train wreck’ but it doesn’t seem to matter to the amount of reblogs they get. My lips are by no means of the largest variety so I should quit worrying. Loads of women have darker skin around their vaginas and at the top of their thighs, it’s natural so don’t worry about it and best of all, the pictures and gifs where the men appear to be having the MOST fun are the ones with the larger slitted ladies with a rounder mound of venus… At this point I stopped worrying because you know, there are men and women who prefer neat pussies and there are men and women who prefer to get a really good mouthful and I should know better then worry…
Different strokes for different folks…. but please, don’t stop at stroking xx
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To start at the begining of my journey on this blog, click here.