You know I’m given to introspection if you read my inane drivel but as a few people have told me recently they read this blog because of my take on life I guess I’d better just get on with it… the drivel that is 😉
Today’s introspective kaleidoscopic brain tsunami was caused by an old friend of mine. He’s a bit naughty and given to flirtatious behaviour. He has a tenancy to get naughty with the ladies and doesn’t want to upset the applecart of home life so to speak, so we ended up discussing the ‘dark side’ of twitter, the sexy people, the people I like to think are actually as lot more honest and open and trustworthy that all the pent up decent folk on the vanilla side… You know the ones, the naughty people I call friends 😉
I’m given to a bit of banter myself, I have a flirtatious nature, I am naughty. If you have read this blog since May you will know my thoughts on ‘the dark side’, cock photos, sexting, they stuff that most people look for when they venture over into the world of NSFW as a ‘dark side account holder’ (sounds like a club doesn’t it). Yeah, I can be pretty scathing but all in all I know that people need to vent their darker side, people like me who’s natural propensity is actually to be sexual and find the constraints of being respectable a daily chore. Biting back comments is something I have learned through many many years of having a filthy mind… (Although I did tell a Dad in the school yard the other day that I thought a certain high street sex shop was rather bland and the products uninteresting. He didn’t ask me to qualify the remark for which I was relieved 😉 phew!)
Anyway, I know what my friend is looking for, a bit of harmless fun and all well and good to him, I hope he finds it but it got me thinking… Why do people follow me? Because, lets face it, I’m not NSFW, I’m really placid… My twitter has No sexy pictures every five minutes and you won’t find many here either. Twitter is a perfect playground for the voyeur but you’ll not get an eyeful out of me… You won’t find endless descriptions of my lovelife either because I’m actually a private person and honestly folks… even I can write about sex that much!! 😉 Yes, I know I write erotica and if you tell me it made you hot I consider it a job well done, I gets me kicks like that, I’m not exactly prolific though, as I discovered recently I have too much ‘life’ to need to ‘get one’ and it gets in the way of my creativity *frowns*.
So I asked twitter, why do you follow me?
Well it seems people like my drivel and *grimaces* I’m nice *frowns* okay, I can live with being ‘nice’ (I fucking hate that word *sulks*) because I do tend to care about the people I tweet with regularly and a lot of the action does happen in my DM box! Just not in the way you would think…
I get a lot of DM’s, so many that I’m always in search of the next best DM cleaner 😉 (but not enough to be in twitter jail) but it’s all NORMAL stuff!! The stuff that my naughty pals don’t want on their time lines, like what the kids are doing at school, what the wife said and how they feel, what to buy hubby for christmas… you know, vanilla stuff. People sometimes tell me their problems, I’m great at not judging perhaps that’s why… blowed if I know… it’s probably my shocking memory to be fair, “You told me what?” but the upshot of this is since I started my EM twitter account I have not had a single indecent proposal or naughty picture. Whilst I’m curious as to why, I’m actually okay with this as anyone who did try it would get really short shrift! Yep, I’m a right conundrum….
This might also be because I am very careful who I follow back of course!
So is it the writer thing? Do people look at this and think – she writes about sex, she’s gonna write about me? Or is it more a thinking they are not interesting enough to be written about… Honestly folks, I know how that feels! I’m soo incredibly uninteresting you just can’t imagine!!
So after I had my chat with my friend and asked twitter my question why, I looked at my profile and considered that as an erotic writer and sarcastic wench there really is nothing not safe for work about me. I bet if I had a mind I could delete my vanilla twitter and just have the one account, I might be a bit smutty for some but it’s only smut… I obviously have no need for a NSFW account do I, I am what I am, although I must admit to missing the freedom I felt with my old locked account!
Usually at the bottom of these little bloggy rantings of mine I draw a conclusion, not so today… Perhaps that is because I wouldn’t welcome people trying to sext with me or sending me cock pictures, perhaps it’s because this is not a locked account, there is no anonymity for the people who I talk too, so they just keep it to naughty banter… Perhaps, and it irks me to admit this, I really am just another dull housewife… Infact my brain is reeling with how banal I suddenly feel today. #dull #dull #dull
There is only one thing for it…
More coffee and lots of it, with cake…
The tsunami might have won this round.
The last 6 months have been rather monumental for me, after a particularly hard end to last year where I was struggling to find my voice blogging, whilst trying to balance home life with a novel gushing out of my head, January’s discovery of the ‘Dark Side’ of twitter swept me up in a whirl pool and I haven’t looked back!
I only wanted somewhere to vent, honestly! I remember swearing at twitter one pressure filled day and being chastised by several (male) followers for my base language, it shocked me a bit! This was me, on my twitter, saying what I wanted to say! But they didn’t see me like that, the gentle,calm mother of two who posts pictures of her cottage garden and two delightful pretty children (they are both! says mother) should not be swearing and ranting at twitter. #fact A friend suggested I opened a second account and so I did.
I followed a few people who made me laugh and some tweeps I wouldn’t dare follow from the mummy side, jumped in feet first and kind of just flew… It opened up a world of filth and mirth that I just fell into naturally, my sense of humour has never been what you might call ‘clean’.
It’s been a journey of discovery, one that if I had not taken it there would be no EM. Locked accounts apparently mean mischief and I will hold my hands up to creating some of my own in the time I had it and I would still be struggling to find my voice, I also would have had a lot less laughter and release in my life.
Why am I telling you this? Because today I deleted that locked account, 3 active Twitter accounts were just too much to deal with and my flight deck that is Tweetdeck just couldn’t keep up. The friends I made on my locked account are all following EM on Twitter, yes my timeline *might become muckier and I *might swear a little more often. I appologise politely in advance in the way that you do when you don’t really mean it because essentially that is me and I *might need to do it… The Mummy account will be seeing much more of that too to be honest and they will just have to get on with it, I Am Me in all my shades of grey.
*might… might! I would be upset if it didn’t!!
One question I have still remains – So Nine, do I still hold back?
So there you are, the end of an era and yes, I did shed a few tears. I’m going to miss the Old Bird. R.I.P.
I’d love to hear about your mucky twitter journey 😉
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I’m not sure this is the place to say this but fuck it, it’s my blog.
I have a twitter account, in fact I have three, one where I chat to other like minded writers and readers of erotica, I do love it it’s like a gathering of friends. My other two are different. One is attached to the Mummy side of life, rightly or wrongly I keep the erotic and the Mummsy stuff separate, people are small minded and prefer Mothers to behave in a certain manner, personally I think my foray into the world of erotica makes me a better Mother – that is a different post altogether. On the Mummy account I don’t swear, no sex please and I tweet about my kids, I can hear you yawn from here.
The third account however is different, it’s locked and private, I keep the follower account low, only follow people who follow me back, allow no lurkers, people need to talk to me to remain – this is not a numbers game, it’s a serious playground. I’m not talking Sexting, I don’t indulge in sexting on ANY of my accounts, I’ve tried it, it’s dangerous for me, words are so very powerful, they can turn my head and thankfully I know this, I recognise the signs now. But I do indulge in flirting, frank discussions about sex, there is a LOT of humour and repartee with people I feel know me, no strings no assumptions and I swear – oh boy do I swear, I’m the master of the twitter scream! Everyone needs somewhere to rant to and be heard, for me it’s that account, they understand and if I find someone doesn’t fit in my circle of ‘friends’ they go. You may think I’m harsh but this is where I let of steam, there has to be a level of understanding.
In the way of all social things, twitter has to be organic, people come, people go, some stay and become friends but with every new follow request on that account I think very carefully about who I’m accepting, I see who they already follow, what sort of things they say (if I can) and take my time working this out, seeing if I feel happy about it, I’m not here for their entertainment but for mutual amusement.
Sometimes I get it wrong.
This week I let someone in that I wasn’t sure about and it was a mistake.
He started by a few tweets in the timeline, no problem there, my DM box is strictly for private chats of a non sexual variety, if you can’t time line it you shouldn’t be saying it unless it’s personal – I’m sure you catch my drift. The suddenly he was in my DM box saying I was intriguing, so many tweets to so few people, I told him I was fussy 😉 A little later he basically said that reading between the lines he though I was bored with my sex life. I thought what the fuck! Where did that come from? So I asked him, why do you think that? He was vague, between the lines again I wasn’t getting what I need sex wise from my husband… Well, we may have our problems and I may covert the idea of a change of partner but I can honestly say there is nothing wrong with the quantity or quality I get at home…
I was a bit mean at this point and timelined to my pals that someone told me I should get more spice in my sex life… You should have seen them laugh.
A little later there was the DM game, ask me a question and I will timeline the answer, adults can be kids too… He asked me if I was having or would have an affair and male or female, I answered ‘yes – strictly male’ This was followed by DM’s asking me to clarify, was that yes I was or yes, I would? He didn’t like me refusing to tell him but frankly that was none of his business…
After that I think he might have smelt a rat because he pulled out of the DM box and we had several exchanges where he tried to point out how boring I was whilst asking me to share where I was writing. You may not realise this but when I started I decided to let Moonbeam be organic in it’s own right, I’ve tried (and failed with a couple of people due to my technological bimboness and my thinking they had found out when they haven’t) to let an audience find me without prompting. His needling to get me to ‘share’ really pissed me off and perhaps my refusal to tell him pissed him off too because after a brief exchange this evening about twitter being dull I suggested he unfollowed the dull people, he asked where to start and I said here – and he went…
Now, I’m not the most streetwise of people, I take folk on face value and trust my instinct and my instinct was yelling ‘Grooming!’ at me! What would have been next, say I was a vulnerable individual who did feel neglected or unsatisfied by their partner, would there have been an offer to meet, pressure to have sex…
Perhaps I’m reading this wrong and I’ve done this chap an injustice, perhaps it’s not case and he was genuine… I’ll never know will I but I know I’m relieved he’s gone.
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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here
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Dear Boys of the Interweb
What the fuck makes you think we ladies want to see your dicks?
*breathes calmly and continues*
Obviously I am only speak for myself concerning the matter but that has never stopped me randomly ranting before.
Pictures of your private member in your Twitter avi are not pleasant, self portraits in my Submit box are not devoured with relish, rather scorned at and deleted (especially if you are a spotty teenager – I’m no cougar! but brownie points there for audacity 😉 )
Don’t get me wrong chaps, I like penis, yes I do! Love it even… I’m most certainly a cock girl, maleness is my thing but like so many other women my HEAD gets turned on before my BODY, mostly in the form of allure and mystery, a hint of a great thing being restrained in your trousers. The mere suggestion of your fuck me eyes is more likely to get what you are after then flashing your equipment. Your confidence in your ability (confidence not arrogance!) your body language, your desire are most likely to get you noticed. If you can effectively weave words of desire and longing (and you can deal with my tendency towards sarcasm) with a hint of bad boy and a big dose of humour: THAT is the path of attraction! Even in 140 charectors, we can tell the diamonds not matter how rough.
I can tune out (thanks to my app) any pictures you may wish to post in your timeline so fair enough but please, Not Avatars of your pride and joy or prong pictures in my DM box.
I totally understand that a lot of you appreciate the finer attributes of the female body being displayed for your perusal and would probably not object to all womens Avi’s being being boobs or pussy pictures. When John Grey said ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ he was so very right and that is what makes life so very interesting a lot of the time, feel free to look and enjoy, it doesn’t work like that for me, I’m a Venusian.
Now look, I know you are not all in the dark about this, I had a chat with a fella this morning on the very same subject, though I completely understand why he (a straight man) blocked someone for a dick picture, so spread the word and help the other chaps out, enlighten them, (or perhaps enlighten me as to why I’m wrong.)
The sexiest avi’s I have seen in recent months involved a man crawling across a bed towards the camera, a wonderful smart suit and tie shot, a naked chest and a might fine set of abs. I know you could be misled by the beautifully lit and photographed pictures of male incredibleness that inevitably adores most female’s tumblrs, mine included. By all means, hire a top class clicker and get your naked body out in the mainstream as black and white photographic art, I’m all for that! Love it. But honestly, you can’t replicate that with your blackberry…
Many kind regards, looking forward to sexy teasing Avi’s in my time line
To start at the begining of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post
The world is blurring, I guess it was inevitable. I started writing here because I fancied letting my brain run it’s thoughts of filth and idiosyncrasy onto a blog page and in the last 11 days I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me to be able to let loose like that. My writing style although not unique by far is recognisable I think, which I can only lead to more people figuring out it’s me and on top of that I’m technically incompetent tweeting to the wrong account and all sorts!
It could have been so much worse…
So here we are only 11 days into this bloggy adventure and already there are a couple of people who now know who is writing this diatribe and I’ve found I don’t mind so much, will it affect what I write? I don’t know, probably not. Time will tell…..
Because I mean honestly, who the hell am I? I’m not some blousey super model screwing married footballers or a high-class hooker whispering cabinet secrets across the crisp white sheets… Nah… apart from to a few special people I’m nobody at all…
So with that being so, it’s about time I found some other subjects to have a good old ramble about…. suggestions welcome 😉
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To start at the beginning of my journey on this blog, click here then follow the arrows to the next post